Relationship with the partner can be the most beautiful as well as complex association of your life. When it is easy going and flourishing, it automatically becomes a pillar of strength. When things are not so great, you can be left completely drained trying to figure it out. This can leave you with hardly any energy and can eventually impacts other areas of your life. Frequent conflicts with your partner is one of the main reasons which can turn a perfectly healthy relation into trouble.
It is true that a good relation doesn’t blossom on its own. It needs as much care and attention as any other critical entity supporting your life like job, social economic status, wellbeing etc. Here are the ways by which you can avoid or resolve the conflicts and achieve harmony in relationship with your partner.
Communication is the key
Somebody rightly said, good relationships are built on conversations.
One of the main reasons behind conflicts is the feeling of left unheard by one of the partners. It may not come out at once, but repeated incidents build up to the feeling of not valued by the partner.
It is important to spend time with your partner so that words are heard and spoken. Provide them with the comfortable environment where they can speak their heart and mind. It will make your partner not just heard but also respected. A simple conversation has strength of defeating strongest conflicts.
Stay opinionated stay adaptive
You love keeping opinions about everything, don’t you? It’s good to have healthy opinions. But it is equally important that you should know your partner is also most likely to hold opinions which may or may not match with yours with similar conviction. Shouldn’t this be the reason for conflict? Not necessarily!
Relationships are more like two-way highways. It becomes important for you to give your partner a pass and respectfully agree to them on important decisions of life. Key is to understand that we all are allowed to make decisions, commit mistakes and learn from them. This liberty given to your partner along with assurance of your support, will go miles in strengthening your relationship with them.
Space is important, don’t crush it
One thing that spirituality teaches is the awareness that anything around you starts from within you. If you want to fix the relationship, fix the being within you first. It is only when you are at a right place that you can keep things around you at the right place.
Providing yourself and your partner with the space is an important step towards making things right within you.
Pursue your hobbies, spend time with friends and family, work on self-development, or do anything which is isolated to you and encourage your partner to pick their own activities. Anything productive you do to reset your mind is going to make you feel good about yourself. The confidence gained from this is going to be your emotional shield and will make you less prone to little collisions in your relationship.
Art of letting go
One beautiful phrase from the movie ‘Life of Pi’- “I suppose in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go”. This resonates so much with almost everything that happens to us. It’s okay if you had a tussle, but it’s not okay to hold it within you. Anything that you hold is going to come out and the severity of hurt it creates on the other person is stronger than before.
However, establishing this attitude is as tough as easy it is to say. You should understand that letting go often comes after self-convincing and is a by product of it. Even though the war is over, your brain continues to play it on loop within yourself till the time you have put everything on the other person. Basically, you are trying to win the war within yourselves even though it is over externally. This precisely is the phase where you should practice self-convincing and make yourself understand that it is okay for the other person to think differently or be hurt by what you said or did. It is all okay to have differences as what is more important is to rise stronger than before and not victimize yourself. It is also important to keep the past to where it belongs and not carry it with you in the future.
Read more: Practicing Forgiveness And The Art Of Letting Go
Steal their heart
Buddha said, if you want the darkness to go, don’t put your efforts in removing the darkness but try and light a lamp.
Similarly, if you want your relationship to grow stronger, don’t focus on the conflicts, but on spending good times together.
A nice date, a warm hug, a quite walk, a little care in sickness, a surprise visit at workplace, there are so many little, large gestures that you can do to make the other person feel loved and valued. If your want to keep away the darkness of insecurities, light the lamp of love and respect.
If you loved the blog, please do comment in the comment section and let us know about your experiences