10 Common Traits of Controlling People and How to Deal with Them

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In our daily interactions, we encounter various personality types. Among them, controlling people stand out due to their distinctive behaviors and attitudes. Understanding the traits of controlling people can help us navigate these interactions more effectively and protect our own well-being. This blog post delves into the key characteristics of controlling individuals, offering insights into their behavior and how to manage relationships with them.

10 Common Traits Of Controlling People

1. Their Need for Dominance

Controlling people have a compelling need to dominate and exert power over others. This desire often stems from underlying insecurities or a fear of losing control. They might micromanage tasks, make unilateral decisions, and resist any form of collaboration. Their need for dominance can manifest in both personal and professional relationships, creating an environment where others feel stifled and undervalued.

2. They Use Manipulative Tactics

One of the hallmark traits of controlling individuals is their use of manipulation. They are skilled at twisting situations to their advantage, often making others feel guilty or responsible for problems. This manipulation can be subtle, involving emotional appeals and guilt-tripping, or overt, through lies and deceit. The goal is always the same: to maintain control and influence over others.

3. They Are Inflexible

Controlling people are often rigid and inflexible in their thinking. They struggle to accept different perspectives and insist that their way is the only correct approach. This inflexibility can lead to conflicts, as they are unwilling to compromise or consider alternative solutions. Their black-and-white thinking prevents them from adapting to new situations or understanding others’ viewpoints.

4. Criticize And Blame Others

A common trait of controlling individuals is their propensity to criticize and blame others. They rarely take responsibility for their own mistakes and are quick to point fingers. This behavior serves to undermine others’ confidence and maintain the controller’s sense of superiority. By consistently finding fault with others, they create a dynamic where people are constantly seeking their approval and validation.

5. They Use Isolation Tactics

Controlling people often isolate their targets from friends, family, and support networks. This isolation ensures that the controlled individual becomes increasingly dependent on the controller. By severing these connections, the controller can exert more influence and prevent the person from seeking outside perspectives or help. Isolation can be emotional, physical, or both, and is a powerful tool for maintaining control.

6. They Show Excessive Jealousy and Possessiveness

Jealousy and possessiveness are common traits among controlling individuals. They view their relationships as possessions and become excessively jealous of any attention their partner or friend receives from others. This jealousy can lead to intrusive behaviors, such as checking phones, monitoring activities, and demanding constant updates. The underlying fear is that they will lose control or be replaced.

7. They Will Emotionally Exploit

Controlling people are adept at exploiting others’ emotions to achieve their goals. They might use flattery, love-bombing, or emotional blackmail to manipulate those around them. Love-bombing involves overwhelming someone with affection and attention to gain their trust and dependency. Once they have established control, they may use threats or emotional withdrawal to maintain it.

8. They are Good At Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the controller makes the victim doubt their own reality and sanity. They may deny events, twist facts, or accuse the victim of being overly sensitive or paranoid. Over time, this tactic can erode the victim’s self-esteem and trust in their own perceptions, making them more reliant on the controller’s version of reality.

9. Overprotectiveness

While protection can be a sign of care, controlling individuals take it to an extreme. Their overprotectiveness is not about genuine concern but about keeping others under their control. They may justify their intrusive behavior as being for the person’s own good, but it ultimately restricts the individual’s autonomy and freedom.

10. Their Love is Conditional

Controlling people often use love and approval as tools of control. Their affection is conditional, based on compliance with their demands and expectations. This conditional love creates a dynamic where the controlled individual feels they must constantly prove their worth and earn the controller’s approval. The fear of losing this love can keep them trapped in the relationship.

How To Deal With Controlling People

Recognizing the traits of controlling people is the first step in protecting yourself from their influence. Here are some strategies to cope with and manage relationships with controlling individuals:

1. Set Boundaries

controlling people

Establish clear boundaries and communicate them assertively. Let the controlling person know what behaviors are unacceptable and what consequences will follow if those boundaries are crossed. Consistently enforcing these boundaries is crucial to maintaining your autonomy.

2. Seek Support

Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for support. Isolation is a common tactic used by controlling people, so maintaining a strong support network is essential. These external perspectives can help you see the situation more clearly and provide the strength to stand up to the controller.

3. Practice Self-Care

controlling people

Taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being is vital when dealing with controlling individuals. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, and make time for self-reflection. Building your self-esteem and resilience will make it harder for the controller to manipulate you.

Read more on Self Care here.

4. Document Interactions

Keep a record of interactions with the controlling person, especially if their behavior becomes abusive or manipulative. This documentation can serve as evidence if you need to seek legal or professional help and can also help you recognize patterns in their behavior.

5. Limit Contact

If possible, limit your contact with the controlling person. Reducing the amount of time you spend with them can minimize their influence over you. In some cases, it may be necessary to cut ties completely to protect your well-being.

6. Educate Yourself

Learn more about controlling behaviors and manipulation tactics. Understanding the psychology behind these actions can empower you to recognize them and respond more effectively. Knowledge is a powerful tool in breaking free from a controlling relationship.

Final Word From Blissed Men

Controlling people can have a significant impact on our lives, often leaving us feeling powerless and uncertain. By recognizing the traits of controlling individuals and implementing coping strategies, we can regain control over our own lives and foster healthier, more respectful relationships. Remember, you have the right to your own autonomy and well-being, and no one should take that away from you.

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