We all want to be at a place where we remain intact from chaos of external circumstances, don’t we? Either hold grudge, resentment and look for opportunities to fulfil your desire of revenge or embrace forgiveness and let go. Practicing forgiveness does the same thing and takes you one step closer to own well-being and spiritual evolution.
We all have been hurt at some point or the other in our lives. Whether someone said something unpleasant to us or somebody did something that we couldn’t accept, we have all been through our moments of been wounded.
You might have your own valid reasons of keeping those wounds fresh and alive. Some of you may have gone through traumatic childhood, or may be surviving in a toxic workplace, or even physical, mental or emotional abuse by someone close. However, the awareness that it is only you who is paying most dearly if forgiveness is not practiced is important.
How do you know if you need to forgive somebody?
For most people it is difficult to understand if they have been holding on to the feeling of resentment and have not forgiven someone.
Well, the secret lies in the awareness of your thoughts, behavior and emotions when thinking or getting in proximity of people who have a history of causing hurt to you.
It is more likely that you are consumed in thoughts of taking revenge and imagine yourself winning by the end of it. However, if you observe minutely, at the very same time, you are occupied and utilizing your energy into something which is not worth it.
What’s done is done. If you happen to forgive the person who has hurt you, you can liberate yourself from the feelings and imaginations that have been keeping you bounded.
Forgiveness is also a dimension of spiritual awareness called ‘Living in Present’. The more you practice forgiveness, the more you will be able to live in present and same is true the other way around.
Benefits of practicing forgiveness:
Forgiveness is the other word for self-liberation. It is only when you forgive someone, you realize that it was you who were trapped in the boundaries of not thinking and acting beyond the other person when it comes to dealing with them.
Besides, it also teaches you empathy, generosity, gratitude and have tons of health benefits which are directly associated to your mental, physical and emotional health. You also get to see things from perspective of others and that’s when the miracle of change starts to happen within you.
Healthier relationships are another most important product of practicing forgiveness.
We humans are born with the natural tendency of victimizing ourselves. It is easy to feel hurt by others than to look beyond them.
Every time someone does something to us, we don’t leave the opportunity of feeding on this feeling of victimization. Idea is not to undermine the harm which is caused but to make oneself aware of the alternative we have when someone hurts us.
Learning the art of practicing forgiveness:
Acknowledging your feelings and emotions about the hurt that has been caused to you is the first step towards forgiveness.
The awareness that how your actions, behavior is getting impacted which will help you understand what needs to be fixed.
Realization of the importance of forgiveness and all the positive changes it can bring.
Sometimes there are just unfavorable circumstances, realizing this, will help us to forgive the people who might be just as helpless as we were.
Go beyond the feeling of been victimized.
Can forgiveness mend relationships?
No, not always. Sometimes relationships cannot change. Practicing forgiveness cannot guarantee the reconciliation of relations. However, what it can guarantee is the change within you. Others can approach forgiveness in their own ways and at their own pace. It is not necessary that your participation in forgiveness will pull them towards it at the same time or may be ever.
You need to forgive with expectation of nothing from the other person. The only case when you can expect the change from the person you are forgiving is when you are forgiving yourself. This can happen by acknowledging your mistakes and admitting to those who have been hurt by you.
They may not be able to forgive you as they will move towards forgiveness in their own time, but you will feel better about yourself as admitting mistakes is a characteristic of a compassionate person.
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